Brandt & Tiffany Schneider

From the NYT:

WHEN Brandt and Tiffany Schneider put their brick colonial on the market for $1.2 million last April, they had every reason to be optimistic. The home, three years old and in a suburban neighborhood here, features a two-story great room with a stone fireplace and a leafy backyard. The couple’s agent told them she would be shocked if it didn’t sell within 30 days. After all, the Schneiders had owned five previous homes over the past decade, all of which had sold in the first month for more than the couple had paid.

A year later, they are renting a house in Madison, Wis., where they moved to be closer to family, and are still waiting for a buyer for their old home. Despite Mr. Schneider’s new job as a manager at a logistics company, his family has had to cut expenses and eliminate vacations in order to cover the $2,500-a-month rent in Madison and the mortgage payments, taxes and utility bills still due in Greensboro.

Oh pulease. This guy and his idiot Wife would have gotten in trouble eventually in the best of times. Fuck’em. This moron’s in the logistic business and didn’t see peak oil coming? I suspect he’s also a dunce at work.

Know this, you serially entitled assholes: As ye go under, I will enjoy every millisecond of it.

You can be sure that had the Wife and I flipped five houses in ten years for a profit, we would have put some aside for a rainy day. I really really hope Brandt or one of his friends looks me up.

And what kind of a name is Brandt, anyway?

If you’re stupid enough to name your kid Tiffany, you should have the cash to support her the rest of her miserable fucking life.

What do you wanna bet they both smoke cigs?

I’ve yet to meet a carpetbagger, er cheesehead, yet who didn’t have it all figured out.

The roaring in a cheesehead’s ears is the sound of his own voice.

Brett Favre is from Mississippi.

If they’re so fucking smart, why are all the employees in Home Depot and Lowes from Wisconsin?

I spent a month in Madison one week. Heileman’s Old Style is swill.

The story is a lie. Nobody from Wisconsin stays married long enough to have three kids. Of course, nobody said they weren’t step-kids.

I’ll put $100 toward a one-way ticket to Madison. Ok, O’Hare.