A Christmas Carol

God does not dwell in my heart, gristled as it is with hate and disappointment. No, our Saviour, being neither an idiot nor a fool, dwells instead in the hearts of the kind and the beautiful, who often happen to be, as a consequence, wealthy.

Such are the hearts of Greensboro City Councilman and soon to be Mayor, Robbie “Pave It” Perkins, and his family. I have yet to receive an invitation to one of their many planned gatherings, but my sources indicate their million dollar home has been trimmed lovingly. Should the editors of Town and Country ever deign to visit our quaint boro, the Perkins home would not disappoint.

In a few days, Mrs. Perkins will bid the help a fond adieu and load them down with bonuses and gifts for their families. Then she will personally attend to the Holiday at hand with all the warmth and love in her considerable heart, where Jesus does indeed shine brightly. When their busy lives as captains of industry allow, the gorgeous children will arrive with perfect spouses and grandchildren. They will gather and thank God most fervently for their many blessings, and being so nearby, He will, as He always does, hear them.

Fortunate friends will come and go, bearing extraordinary yet simple gifts. Their Christmas truly will be a cherished time of fellowship and rejoicing. Greensboro’s beautiful people have much to be happy about. With an electorate turning out at barely 20%, the world waits to answer their commands. We should be grateful for them, lest they turn their attentions elsewhere, say maybe Roanoke.

I, for one, would like to take a moment to thank the great citizens of Greensboro for their courageous leadership. Why, under their expert guidance we may, with certitude, look forward to a day when we rival the beautiful people of Charlotte or, dare I say it, Raleigh.

Merry Christmas and God bless us everyone, or at least the pure of heart.