WTF?

Is it a coinkydink I can’t get through a week without reading the comments of Perkins the Paver in the N&R? One would have reason to believe not.

Are we to be constantly reminded of Robbie’s courageous leadership? What about the valiant service of his fellow councilman, the vapid bimbo, Zack Methany? Must Perkins persist in hogging the spotlight?

I was just kidding. We all know Methany can’t string two words together without fucking up – unless, of course, they were said to him by Jim Melvin, who isn’t gay, but there’s nothing wrong with that if he were.

Is the strategy to keep Robert V., Jr. in the frontal lobes of the electorate so that his mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging friends can find his name on the ballot more easily?

I will miss the N&R, but the yellow journalism it practices will be good riddance. The question remains:

What do Robbie’s butt boys at the N&R have to gain by maintaining his cred as a Councilman and ascendence to Mayor?

Do the successes of the Aerotropolis and HOT sell more papers?

Are the editors of the biased rag sincere sycophants?

Have they been paid off or is the fascination of a sexual nature?

Are Robbie and JR enjoying a bromance? Life is short and love is hard to find. But maybe they should keep it on the down low.

The unimaginative among us would point to a sad quid pro quo for the city buying the Canada Dry brownfield. I just don’t see it.

Is it a coinkydink that Robbie and JR suffered debilitating wrist fractures? Perhaps it’s an arcane initiation rite for Tall Skinny One-Armed Narcissists In Lust. My sources indicate on the several recent occasions when each has been physically threatened, they resort to throwing the useless appendages over their faces and screaming like little girls.

Indeed, the strange couple’s love is reported to be one-sided. JR is said to have referred to Perkins as Needle Dick, the Bug Fucker in a fit of jealous rage on Perkins’ MySpace page just before he took it down. I suppose desperation takes hold as one gets older.

22:30: I’ve been watching the proceedings of City Council and were Perkins not a rapacious developer, I’d feel sorry for him having to deal with the other dolts on Council. In fact, I am happy Mitch Johnson was finally given his walking papers, if only to another office down the hall. Four years is plenty for anyone to have to serve these fools.

Mike “Buffet” Barber, particularly on the Jordan Lake rules, appears to be a simpleton, incapable of digesting complex issues. Likewise, I’m not sure Mary Rakestraw is a sentient being. I get the impression putting on clothes and making it to chambers exhausted her mental abilities.

One gets the idea that good governance by this group, with the painful exception of Perkins, is not likely, and probably impossible.

On losing the marathon to HP, the organizers probably watched a Council meeting on Channel 13 before making their decision. Our elected officials do more harm to the reputation of Greensboro than losing the prospective benefits of a marathon. Again, were Perkins not a shitbird developer, he’d have my sympathy.

On further viewing, Dr. Wells appears to be a notable exception. Otherwise, this council performs as though they were running Stenchville rather than one of NC’s larger municipalities.

I suppose I’ve answered my own question. The N&R uses Perkins as the go to guy because most of them are damn fools.