R.Hude

Lake Norman Bath continues herding cats:

I was being very honest with the LCSO when I told them what their IP address was and that there was no one on the planet that could help them as it was an internal issue. Even the mighty Google wouldn’t be able to identify which actual machine from the internal network had accessed my blog – their internal address is translated as it leaves their private network. At the time in question the blog was ‘quiet’ enough for me to actually see where the posters were coming from. Now, well, not so much as the traffic volume makes it unlikely as I’d have to stop everything, off-load the data, and crunch it.

Here’s a humorous play on the charges being made:

THIS IS A SATIRICAL LOOK AT A FICTIONAL INTERVIEW WITH THE SHERIFF AND HIS COMMAND STAFF BY AN INTERNET NEWSPAPER REPORTER.
REPORTER: Sheriff, what do you think of all these problems at your department?
THE SHERIFF THROWS HIS HANDS UP IN THE AIR AS HE ANSWERS THE QUESTION.
TD: There are no problems here. Everyone works in a perfect work environment, don’t you children.
GROUP: Yes Sheriff.
REPORTER: What about the misuse of evidence?
BT: Sheriff, let me handle this one. What you call evidence, I call Big Boy Tonka Toys.
REPORTER: BT what are your qualifications to be Chief Deputy?
BT: Well I am RADAR cerified and I walk around here with my chest swelled out.
REPORTER: HE you are not saying much. I would think you are much more qualified than any of these two moro…, Uh I mean gentlemen.
HE: I just wish I had my old job back selling nuts and bolts.
TL: I am the most qualified person here and HE took my job.
TL CROSSES HIS ARMS AND BEGINS TO POUT.
REPORTER: Sheriff what about the search warrant?
TD: What about it. None of us know anything about. AA wrote it. It is all his fault. Ask him.
REPORTER: Well AA what about it.
AA: No comment, please, I just want to keep my job.
TD: I don’t like your tone of questioning here. You better settle down or I am going to handcuff you.
LK: Dont worry Sheriff, I’ll chinlock him too.
HK: I’ll polygraph him.
AT THIS MOMENT LM BUSTS INTO THE MEETING WITH CASES (AND I DON’T MEAN THE INVESTIGATIVE KIND IN FOLDERS) UNDER HIS ARMS.
LM: Sorry I am late. Does anyone need a beer?
TD: Now, LM, you know all we drink here is Kool Aid.
REPORTER: Sheriff, what will your strategy be for re-election.
LK RUDELY INTERRUPTS BEFORE TD CAN ANSWER.
LK: Re-election! Give me a break. I will be Sheriff in 2010.
LM: Oh no you won’t. I will.
LK: Wanna bet.
TL: I am still smarter than all of you.
TD: This meeting is out of control.
KD WALKS INTO THE MEETING.
KD: Hey everyone. The van is gassed up. Anybody need a ride to Story St?
TD: No me and BT have an important meeting with a guy named Kenny on the eastend. HE you have to go to.
REPORTER: Wait everyone I have free gift certificates to Fattys.
EVERYONE WALKS OUT TO THE PARKING LOT. TD AND BT GO TO THEIR HIS AND HER MATCHING CHARGERS.
TD: BT I am sure glad you put these cool numbers on our cars so I can figure which one is mine.

And then there’s this nut:

Problm for sherif dirty is not evrywon hoo nose what tyme itis worx for im. 2 many peepul no. U donut skeer us mr lawman! Wit well aimt worts icon shoot the sherif (but nut the depootee) an no 1 kin stop mee. That dang fust mendment alays gits intaweigh!…

Hay aintit dirtys holiday? No one done congrashulateded him. Happy Foo Day Dirty!…

U dinnot sea it cummin? Ynot? U dinnot sea Dinglebaree kiss dirtys butt wit dat bs bout mcendree, dirty kalin ihm ah lyre ovary sum doreme from dc? U bind n blind!

It appears LNB, at least, is building a case and has come into possession of some allegedly fraudulent time sheets.

An anonymous commenter on the news@norman reporter:

Fortenberry has helped put two sheriffs in jail, and directed coverage that led to the defeat of three others.

He doesn’t sell his soul – to anyone, anytime, anywhere.

My glomming on to LNB has garnered me nearly 4000 hits so far in April. I’m link-whoring in reverse.