The Justice League

WARNING: We’ve got a real feature for you here today, folks.

And now, our feature…

I’ve been receiving e-mails from local supporters asking if there was anything they could do to help with my battle against the insidious disease plaguing Asheboro and Greensboro, known as The Eternal Victim. So far, I’ve replied to lay low and enjoy the show.

I have taken the fight to several media outlets and the word has gotten out effectively. My case will hopefully be given a continuance and the battle will go on for some time. I realize others afflicted like myself would like to get in a few punches without risking the harpy’s wrath by exposing themselves.

Therefore, I am forming The Justice League. Donors of at least $25 will have the satisfaction that they are at least helping defray my legal expenses. For their donation and a provided e-mail address, I will send a regular accounting of my expenses and the total received. All contributions will remain anonymous. Furthermore, members of The Justice League will receive the password to the 27 e-mails, The Real Story and any new intel I may receive.

This battle did not begin and will not end with the unhinged banshee. Please join me in fighting racists, dumb Republicans and other sociopaths in our midst. With your help, we can make our world a better place and have a lot of fun in the bargain.

Please join The Justic League by sending your check or money order to:

Jeff Martin
P.O. Box 39711
Greensboro, NC 27438

If you wish to use a credit card or PayPal, click the button at the top left of this blog. The Wife wanted me to do this, but doesn’t want weirdo bloggers coming by her store.

11:00: The battle is being joined on all sides this morning. All my enemies are appearing. It promises to be a great day. To those of you worried that I may destroy this village in order to save it, I suggest you look to the discretion with which I have conducted myself so far. If other folks divulge info meant as private, that’s on them.

Also note my enemies have lain in wait, sometimes for years, until a moment when I appear vulnerable. This is the mark of a coward.

The coward always mistakes contrition for weakness.

BTW, I promise not to ruin any Boston Butts or use the proceeds for a new laptop. I was commenting on his wife’s couture and by inference, his own. But his cowardice afflicted him so that he stayed away from me online and off… forever. And his fear was so great that he went out and got a job and stayed away from everyone, online and off… forever, lest he run into me.

Because I am everywhere, or at least I could be. He knows one thing for sure: I’m in his head.

I habituate a small patch of Greensboro on North Lawndale. If any one of these cowards wanted to deal with me, I’m easy to find. I don’t own any weapons and know no martial arts. You’ve seen me on TV. What’s there to be afraid of?

So don’t whine to the harpy. Come and get some.

At some point, you may wonder who the bully is. The answer is everyone. We’ve all been bullied and become bullies. I’m in deep touch with my bulliness. If you’re watching on the sidelines, thank your God you’ve not become what we are.

Is your cringe muscle sore? Why not take a moment… go to the bathroom… think nice thoughts…and get something to drink on the way back… See, isn’t that better?

I went places yesterday I hadn’t been in a long time. Nice folks when they’re not stabbing you in the back. I thought the old girl might come out and put up a fight, but I guess not yet. Wait a bit more for the crowd to gather. I’d have apologized immediately and then where would she have been? That’s right, I’m the Russian Army,

I’m not much for a defensive strategy. Would Rommel have been chased from North Africa if Montgomery hadn’t taken the battle to him?

I sure wouldn’t fight from my home ground if I had years of self-indulgent whacked-out posts stacked overhead, where the slightest spark of curiosity could cause a conflagration of Roman proportions.

We called our tenant at the address on the warrant and told him to watch out for flying monkeys.

I got tailed recently by a minivan full of rednecks. I gave them the slip in Country Park and got behind them on Cotswold. The license plate read:

UCNBASTR

My guess is their talents lean away from surveillance and abduction, and more toward tap and baton.

I was working on a fictional abduction where I got water boarded and forced to endure tap and baton tryouts, but it spun wildly out of control. It might resurrect it if there’s a break in the action.

BTW, it’s easy to tell when they’re in town. The vehicles have an oval white sticker emblazoned with ‘YA’.

13:30: Argghh!…. I’ve been attacked by a Rockingham County sociopath at Ed Cone’s. Happily, people I’ve never spoken to are defending me. But they haven’t a chance because… I’m a bad, bad man.

Errrk!… She was out last night and I didn’t see her, but then I don’t haunt these places.

16:00: The Wife has read the YES! Weekly version and likes it best of all. I agreed.

21:00: The Justice League has enrolled its first new member. Thank you.